Friday, October 29, 2010

Celeb Real Estate: R. Kelly

Attention Chicago-ites. You now can buy R. Kelly's former Chicago home for $3.89 million, complete with a bucket of Lysol (God knows what happened in that place). Apppppppparently, this is the house that prosecutors believe the R&B singer filmed himself making love, and urinating on, a female that was not of legal consenting age. Gross.

R. Kelly was ultimately cleared of child pornography charges as the jury believed it was unable to prove the identity of the individuals on the tape. Fun Fact: R. Kelly had the same lawyer as former Illinois governor Rob Blagojevich now has.

After R. Kelly abandoned chip at the house, it sat vacant for several years until it's current owner, Ilene Greenblatt purchased it for $1 million. She apparently bought the home to impress her nephew although she had never heard of R. Kelly. She probably should have done a quick Google search...

The home has been extensively renovated in the past 18 months. It has 4-bedrooms, marble-clad fireplace in the living room, a sleek kitchen, a 1,500-square-foot rooftop terrace with an outdoor kitchen and elevator.

Oh, but don't worry, although several changes have been made the 1,600 gallon fish tank R. Kelly installed is still intact. However, once filled with sharks, the fish tank is now home to much tamer fish. If you cant afford the $3.89 million price tag, you can own a piece of the residence. Kelly's Looney Toons-themed bar is now on Craigslist for $1,000.


Seattle is known for awesome things. It is filled with awesome people. What do you think of when you think of Seattle? Starbucks, Microsoft, Boeing, Prius drivers, the 4th best public school IN THE WORLD (go dawgs), and yes, those damn hipsters. Piling on as many scarves as they possibly can and pairing them with flip-flops. Converse shoes that are colored like a psychopath on acid was bored, and an "oh my gosh, look at my obscure t-shirt that references a 80's one hit wonder band!". News flash, you annoy the crap out of us. Oh, and you are just as original as the other 5 guys in your group wearing the same stuff.

Thankfully, the people at Concordia University and the University of Wisconsin - Madison has finally conducted a study that actually matters, "The Hipster Phenomenon".

Here is the article by Matt Palmquist from Enjoy.

Researchers Tackle the 'Hipster' Phenomenon
Researchers tap the indie marketplace to learn more about hipsters, who don't think of themselves as hispters despite their obvious hipsterness.
By Matt Palmquist,

At long last, science has tackled the phenomenon of the hipster, the contradictory symbol of coolness that strives for nothing other than complete “hipsterness” while firmly rejecting any association whatsoever with the term “hipster.” As Zeynep Arsel of Concordia University and J. Craig Thompson at the University of Wisconsin-Madison write in the Journal of Consumer Culture: “This iconic category has evolved from its countercultural roots, originally aligned with beat sensibilities, to a trend-seeking über-consumer of the 2000s.” Think of all the innocent berets that have been worn conspicuously in that time.

But like yuppies, metrosexuals and gangstas before them, hipsters threaten to become a cultural cliché, their once-legit aesthetics gobbled up by a mainstream consumer culture looking to cash in. So what happens when the offbeat, indie brands that hipsters identify with — Pabst Blue Ribbon and Ben Davis work pants, we’re looking at you — become trendy? The researchers found that hipsters will remain loyal to their chosen brands because they are able to “demythologize” their consumer choices to distance themselves from labels they see as derisive. Not that being a hipster is all about fashion — perish the thought.

To reach their conclusions, the authors interviewed the movers and shakers of the indie marketplace, tastemakers such as DJs and music critics. (We assume they were lured in with the promise of a free fixed-gear bike and the new Belle & Sebastian record.) The word “hipster” was never uttered during the interview, but the authors confirm it was nevertheless at the forefront of the tastemakers’ minds. “Interestingly all participants but one wanted to talk about how they were mistaken for, or accused of being a hipster just because they were consuming indie products,” the authors write.
In other words, that hipster is so not a hipster.

And finally, the last word …
“Dr. Agnew and Dr. Carleton’s expertise and equipment were invaluable in helping us validate and document the results of our initial cryopreservation trials with the hellbender semen.” — Sally Nofs of the Nashville Zoo, on efforts to develop conservation techniques to sample and freeze sperm from the last surviving hellbender salamanders — the largest kind in North America — which are also affectionately known as “snot otters” or “devil dogs.” Note: We made none of this up.
The Cocktail Napkin appears at the back page of each issue of Miller-McCune magazine, highlighting current research that merits a raised eyebrow or a painful grin.

Le Fin

For more awful hipsters, take a look at this website: (warning, explicit language. Because these people REALLY don't like hipsters)

God bless, and may we one day live in a world that is hipster-free.

Alexandra Marie Chaffee

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Oh, How the Mighty Have Fallen

Here's your daily lesson on how not to become a douche bag.

Dear Brett Favre, you should have hung it up last year. Thanks to your utter stupidity, all of the amazing things you have done for and in the NFL is now down the drain and you will forever be remembered as THIS guy.

oh, and p.s., no girl in their right mind would ever be aroused by that thing you sent a text of...EVER.

From Oct. 23rd, 2010:

A-Rod Finally Worth$252 Million To The Texas Rangers

The Texas Rangers advance to the World Series for the first time in franchise history. Alex Rodriguez, who once signed a quarter-billion-dollar contract with the Rangers, struck out looking. Balance restored to The Force. Fun fact: This would have been the final year of his behemoth deal.

I don't think there is anyone in the world that loves themselves as much as you love yourself. Not your ex-wife on your best of days, not your daughters, not Cameron Diaz, not Kate Hudson, and not even any of the blond strippers. Oh, and please never do THIS again:

I don't think I need to say anything here:

When you're a professional athlete, you're a professional athlete. When you're an athlete that goes Hollywood, you're a douche. That whole broken collar bone thing was the leftovers of the overall 'dating hollywood women' curse. I decided.

More to come....

Saturday, October 23, 2010

Seattle Hauntings...

I totally want to be a ghost one day. Just hang out, freak people out, and not worry about the insanely exhausting exercise of opening up a door, ugh. Seattle might be a youngin in comparison to other U.S. cities, but we sure do have our share of dead people who just want to chill with us. Here are some places in Seattle where you can check them out:

Pike Place Market (Apparently Pike Place is the hottest ghost club in Sea town, cause all the ghosts want to party here):

Princess Angelina, the eldest daughter of Chief Seattle - Her waterfront cabin use to sit between Pike and Pine street but after
the market was built, Princess Angelina liked to hang out, sell baskets and walk around. She died at the age of 85 on May31, 1896. Angelina can't seem to let go of her old stomping grounds as she has been seen several times slowly walking through the hallways. Many people believe it is a real person until she simply disappears right before their eyes. Her favorite spot is near the rough wooden column in the center of the lower level as well as near the Goodwill store. Several exorcisms have occurred, but Angelina doesn't seem to care. She just wants to party.

Arthur Goodwin, nephew to the original Pike Place developer - Arthur was the Market Director from 1918 to 1941. His office looked down on the market much like Mordor did in Lord of the Rings. Apparently you can still see his figure in the window(which is now a meeting room named the Goodwin Library). He can also be seen through the window swinging his golf club like a pro. Even in death, Arthur likes his game.

The Fat Lady Barber - She was fat. She was a Lady. And she was a barber. So this hottie use to be a barber who was known for singing her customers asleep with soft lullabies. Once they were asleep she would help herself to their wallets and whatever else she could find of value. In the 1970's, during the markets renovations, poor Fat Lady Barbara fell to her death when an area of floor gave way from under her. Today, maintenance workers report hearing a woman singing lullabies when they are working at night.

Other Market Ghost Hangouts - (1) At the Bead Emporium, a small boy continues to dwell. When renovations were completed a few years ago, construction workers found a basket of the stores beads in a room that had ben shut off, the door painted over, and that no one had been inside since before the Bead Emporium opened up for business. Many believe the little boy put the beads there as that is where he lived. The store also believes the little boy is the cause of the cash register drawer opening and closing throughout the night. When he gets bored at the bead shop, he is known to sneak into the Puppet Shop and plays with the marionette's. (2) At the Greek deli, Mr. D's, spirits are known to be fighting in a downstairs walk-in freezer. Many workers are so scared of the dueling spirits, they refuse to go down to the freezer. (3) At the Shakespeare and Co. Bookstore, the owners arrive every mornings to find the same book off the shelf and on the floor. Each day they brush off the book and return it to it's shelf, only to find it on the floor again the next morning. Finally, they gave up and destroyed the book for good.

The Harvard Exit Theater: - Watch a movie and get the bejeezus scared out of you.
Opened in the 1920's, the Harvard Exit Theater use to be the meeting place for the Women's Century Club (aka, they were the original Sex and the City junkies who just talked about their crappy husbands and stuff)

Main Theater, first floor: Sometime around 1900, a man was murdered during a brawl in the house that was eventually torn down to build the Harvard Exit. To this day, many claim to see a portly, slightly see-through man who goes by the name Peter. Apparently he is in high spirits and goofy. I didn't know ghosts could be drunk? But I guess there isn't much else for them to do.

A few years ago, two women were watching a film when one woman felt someone laying with her hair, and the back of her neck. When she turned around no one was near her and a portly man was standing in the back of the theater by the exit smiling and enjoying the movie...Just your everyday ghost getting crunk and watching a flick. No biggie.

On a few occasions, managers have opened up the theater for the day to find films playing to an empty theater. When they run upstairs to find who the guilty party is running the projector, the room is locked, and no one was inside.

Woman on the Balcony - In the 1940's, a woman was suffocated somewhere in the Harvard Exit building. She can be seen on the balcony and scaring the administration personnel on the 2nd floor.

A janitor was vacuuming the theater whens he felt the presence of someone in the room. When she turned around she saw a woman in old fashioned clothes (perhaps Victorian) looking down at her. Others have reported the same sighting.

The Women's Century Club - which if it is anything like it sounds like, they drank a whole lotta beer in 1 hour. Anywho, two women can be seen sitting in chairs in the lobby chatting away. When pictures are taken of the empty room, many times the two women can be seen in the chairs. On one of her first days on the job, Janet Wainwright walked into the lobby and was startled to see a slightly see-through woman sitting in a chair near the fire place reading a book. Much to her horror, the woman in the chair slowly melted down till there was nothing left. On other occasions in which Janet, or others, have entered the room to find the woman, she simply makes eye contact, smiles, turns out the light and walks out of the room. At least she is a 'green' ghost.

There are a million and a half more stories on BOTH the Harvard Exit and Pike Place, but these were my favorite. More Haunted Seattle to come. (insert stereotypical dark laughter here)

And the Winners Are...

I love me some Halloween. I love carving pumpkins. I really love awesome people who create awesome things. Here are my awards for the most awesome pumpkin carvings of 2010:

Death Star

You may be an uber nerd, but your a talented uber nerd.

Barak Obama

You know you've made a mark in history when your face ends up on a pumpkin.

Stephen Colbert

Nothing says "rally to keep fear alive" than this pumpkin.


This actually makes my salivate.


Predator pumpkin would definitely destroy Alien pumpkin.



Hannibal Lector

The mouth-covering is for your own protection.


Yes, that IS carved out of a pumpkin. That should be incorporated into the Louvre's permanent collection.


What does one do with the giant, flopped over pumpkin? Crush a smaller pumpkin.

Sucker Punched

I can almost hear them, "dude, bra, what the hell?"

Bite Me

Don't tell someone to "bite" you when you are actually edible.

The Screamer

A classic masterpiece interpreted on an awesome pumpkin.

Playing with Dynamite

This puts the old NFL 'TNT' touchdown dance to shaaaaaaame.


A little grown, a little tiara, some pigs blood and you've got a horror film on your front porch!

Lionel Richie

Place this pumpkin on your front stoop then replace your standard doorbell ring with, "Hellllo? Is it me you're lookin for"

My City's Economy is Better Than Your City's Economy

Few things in life really erk me. It takes a lot to make me made. For example, Alex Rodriguez's pure existence, Anne Geddes baby pictures, and math will all drive me into a blind, Hulk-like rage.

Being a real estate Broker, I constantly hear things like, "what a bad time to be in that!", or "Ugh, with this economy?", and of course, "Every time I turn on the TV they are talking about how bad the housing market is!" OK, OK, OK let's break something down, SEATTLE IS NOT LIKE THE REST OF THE NATION!!!!! Why else would we live in Seattle if it wasn't an amazing city that put all other cities to shame? National broadcast news are constantly discussing how the nation is doing as a whole, economically speaking. How in the world can you honestly compare Seattle to Phoenix, all of Florida, and Nevada? Those three locations alone bring down the entire national average more than Ryan Leaf brought down HIMSELF. If we simply removed those markets, the statistics would be MUCH, MUCH different.

Here are just a couple of articles that have come out just this week:

Boeing books 80 737 orders in last 2 weeks - Boeing said it will raise their production rates to 38 per month by mid-2013. Airlines and leasing companies have ordered 432 of the planes so for this year. That's out of a total 472 orders for all comercial planes. The 737 has a list rice between $51 million and $87 million.

AlaskaAir profit up 40% to new record - Net income rose to $122.4 million, or $3.32 a share for the quarter that ended Sept. 30, from $87.6 million, or $2.46 a share during the same period last year. Excluding special items, the profit would have been $118.1 million, or $3.21 a share.

Amazon reports gains in third-quarter profit of 16% to $231 million - Amazon posted a third-quarter profit of $231 million, or 51 cents a share, for a year-over-year increase of 16 percent. The company's sales rose 39 percent to $7.56 billion from $5.45 billion in the third quarter of 2009.

Boeing tops 3Q projections - Boeing posted an $873 million third-quarter profit on Wednesday and raised its profit guidance for the full year as it sold more commercial airplanes.

Of course we have all heard, "this is a buyers markets", "buy now!", etc. It is true that with the Seattle areas growing economic strength, we will not see these prices in the next two years. Homes that are now affordable will be far out of your price range shortly. Simply because the rest of the nation maybe suffering economically, that does not mean Seattle will. Baz Lerman may say, "the only piece of advice I can give you is to wear sunscreen. Sunscreen has been proven by scientists while the rest of my advice comes from my own meandering experience", but I'm serious when I say this, you don't have to be a scientist to know that this is the best we will ever see home prices for a very, very long time.

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Reason #578 That Seattle Kicks Butt


Yeah, that's right. Seattle, Washington. Over all, West Coast kids collect far more 'loot' on Halloween than there East Coast counterparts. Seattle is followed by #2. San Francisco, #3. Portland, OR and #4. San Jose, CA. 11 out of the top 20 cities in the study are West Coast cities. 2-Pac would be proud (he was West Coast, right? That's a thing right?). The rest of the cities were spread evenly across the Midwest, Northeast and South.

The smarties at executed this study by calculating four evenly weighted data variables: Zillow Home Value Index, population density, Walk Score and local crime data from Relocation Essentials (all can be looked at on So, from those variables, the Index represents cities that would provide the most candy, with the least walking and safety risks.

WITHIN Seattle, these are the best neighborhoods to Trick-or-Treat in (based on the same variables used earlier):
1. Wallingford
2. Ballard
3. Queen Anne
4. Roosevelt
5. Ravenna

Again, thank you to for developing such an awesome Index and proving once again that Seattle is the coolest city in the world.