Apparently telling mediocre jokes will get you THIS:
Although the home gym looks more like a torture chamber, this Brentwood, CA home can be rented for a mere $35,000 a month. The home is walled, gated and includes a main house that covers 5,323 square feet and 5 bedrooms. If you get bored of that house, just move on over to the guesthouse / art studio / gym.
So moral of the story:
1. Date the owner of a large network
2. Make him laugh every now and then
3. Get your own television show
4. Be semi-funny but mostly rely on guests and co-hosts
5. Get a sweet house.