Friday, March 18, 2011

Things you THINK you should do when you drink, but you shouldn't

In honor of yesterdays holiday, here is a list of all the things you most likely did last night, but really wish you didn't. In a sober mind, many of us make pretty good decisions (most of us), but with the introduction of an alcoholic beverage or two, suddenly our ability to make wise decisions seems to be as impossible as and NFL player having a career post football life.

Please print out this list, and carry it with you on each weekend evening. Because no matter how much you believe you are making a right choice, your not. Also, your ability to complete a task at a higher level than you can when you are sober is simply impossible. I'm sorry to break the news to you.

Fighting: Guys, you didn't magically gain 50 lbs. of muscle in the past two hours and no matter what, you look like an idiot.

Streaking: They are laughing with you, they're laughing at you.

New Talents: You're not showing off, you're just looking stupid.

Accessorising: Lamp shades are not hats.

Telling the truth: one drink and suddenly you're George Washington.

Hitting on the Opposite Sex: You're not any smoother.

Political Conversations: A quick way to make everyone around you uncomfortable.

Dancing: No, you don't look super sexy. Plus, you just fell down.

Calling Your Ex: While you may not remember the next day, your phone log will make sure to remind you of your epic failure.

Singing: No one enjoys it unless they are all at the same intoxication level as you.

thanks for this dead on list.

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